Envelope me, stamp and mail me
Sign and seal, why not entail me?
Stick and lick me, wrap and post me
Baste and taste me, come on, roast me!
Because I’m going on a trip
With my mother (and my hip)
Should I medicate or no
Kill the pain or grin and go?
Should I take along some work
For a crutch or go cold turk?
Should I tell about the op
Bide my time or spill the lot?
If I hobble, will she see
Or take my arm and lean on me?
Perhaps the easiest way to go
Is make quite sure she doesn’t know
Cross my eyes and dot my teas
Grit my teeth and clamp my knees
Wine and dine her, spoil and toast her
Gather friends and foes to host her
‘Cos I’m sure, at ninety-three
She’s told her share of lies to me.